Memoirs of Unrequited Love...

I was cleaning up my old thumb drive the other day, and guess what? I found an old file I once had. And it was the most EMBARRASSING thing I had done to date~!


I wrote a poem...


Yeah well, err.... I have no excuse at that time. I still had no idea why I formed those words but WTH. Most of these words came from the time I was collecting interesting quotes from my everyday life, especially in secondary school. And somehow, those words looked interestingly catchy but was too lazy to actually string them together. But I had a motive to actually complete this stupid poem before I finished Form 4.


And yes, it was for the girl I love. And still do. (but don't tell her! she still has no idea)


Even though I wrote it had only me to appreciate it, I decided to submit it for the Sinar Jaya 2008. Well, for those who still have their copy,


it's there,
at the back,
in between the lame lines of words strung together,
to form a poem.....


I think it was a little too long but I had hoped it would at least reach her. But I think gave up on her. She's just too high and impossible to reach with my current self. (and because I have no balls) This is for you fellows with unrequited love or one-sided love as it was painful for me to a certain point (but not anymore =P)


I would like to thank her for the inspiration to compose this and to my ex-school buddies who contributed their quotes, unconsciously. So, thank you....very much.

I shall now tell you a story of me and her,
And how we could never be together,
Even if I was Adam and you were Eve,
There could never be a you and me,
Every time she came around
I would sticking my head below the ground,
It was like I was on fire,
Set ablaze by a spark and apple cider,
A blazing inferno had started for sure,
With just the mere presence of her.

She was a real beauty,
Coupled with a fiesty personality,
Never the one to back down,
Was what turned my head around,
No matter what hairstyle it was every semester,
I could not look away at her,
Just to catch a glimpse of her adorable smiles,
I would run for miles,
But before I could sort out this odd feeling,
Her angel face would be what I kept dreaming.

Even if I avoided her from time to time,
I still could not get her off my mind,
Because when I look at her in the eye,
How could I lie?
Her presence may leave hurts,
And I would just be lost for words,
But every time I hear the echo of her feet,
My heart would always skip a beat,
But I know in my lonely heart, covered by rime,
She could and would never be mine.

Sometimes I wonder,
Just what am I to her?
Could I be just a friend?
Or maybe her man?
These questions are often heard,
But they shall never be answered,
For I am a nobody,
A lost & wandering soul searching for somebody,
Even if it pains me to say so,
I'm really nothing but a black crow,
Constantly looked down,
As if I was buried several feet below ground

For all eternity I shall wonder,

Till that day I tell her

But for the sake of our friendship,

I would be willing to abandon ship

To suffer in her place,

While she would keep smiling with a happy face

Would be enough to for me to go on,

Until I am taken to the land of Lorn

And there I shall dwell,

To wait for the arrival of her bell,

But for now,
I shall keep that vow,
To fulfill an unrequited lover's promise that I had made,
Until I finally rest at my dying bed and fade,
To keep her as happy as possible,
Even if it means jumping through every hurdle,
But I am sorry,
Maybe it just wasn't meant to be,
Because I have finally drawn my last breath,
And the only one awaiting me now is Death.

And so I regret,

For leaving that world as you to fret,

Leaving her behind and being left behind,

Has left my watery eyes blind

And as I cross to the other side,

I will have nothing to hide

I have suffered long enough,

With too little to laugh

Never appreciated the best in my short life,

For not having you as my wife

So even if you're coming a little late
I shall wait.

Eventually she will come,
After the last beats of the life drum,
And when she has at last run of luck,
Her time is unfortunately up
She would tear,
But do not fear
The other side is bliss,
Leaving behind what we would miss,

We'd spread our wings,
And take off as kings,
Soaring through that great sapphire sky,
We can finally, truly fly
To the gates of above,
There we can finally start our love
Because no one can find happiness there and then,
For it is only found when our time has come to an end...